Through Transparent, I am (Yuri Muraoka, 2020) the filmmaker presents herself as the subject of the film. The use of this first-person point of view becomes a central theme that opens up the possibility for the audience to feel the emotional turmoil felt by the subject; sad, happy, disappointed –entirely.
In the first 5 minutes, we are taken into Muraoka’s dreams. Through her poetry, she explores feelings that have attached to her identity as a schizophrenic. Muraoka’s monologue is a door for the audience to enter the realm of her mind that questions her existence. Is she actually real? Do her eyes really work? Is everything around her real? Or maybe this is all just part of her imagination? These questions are implicitly written in the poems recited by Muraoka.
During the film, Muraoka’s monologue is synchronized by someone’s breath as the background music. As the time goes, the breathing is getting louder and faster. It indicates a feeling of anxiety that is accumulating in her body. The second part of the film, a story about Muraoka’s family is presented. From the birth of her first child, Nemu, to her second, Hana. The presence of two new individuals in Muraoka’s marriage do not lessen what she felt before.
“Life was like playing house”, that’s Muraoka’s description of her life. Like an unfit puzzle piece, Muraoka feels strange in her own life. It is juxtapositioned with the emergence of being vile because she knows that giving birth to a child from her womb is her own choice. Using an experimental style, each film frame is packaged in different ways like light-colored images, video pieces and also abstract footage in a dreamy mood.
Muraoka’s work exposes her private life. From those events, comes an original work that brings out its fragile side. Transparent, I am. (2020) voiced the deepest thoughts of Muraoka –which will invite us to ask ourselves: “Who are we?”
Written by Davina Tri Damayanti | Edited by Vanis
Film Details
Transparent, I am. (透明な私)
Yuri Muraoka | 11 min | Japan | Color & BW | 2020 | 15+
Non-Kompetisi: Spektrum
Showtime
18 November 2022 | Bioskop Sonobudoyo | 15.00
